Generations Forward

"If you build it, he will come"

This past winter it began to gnaw away it me how descendants of Hoocaust survivors are virtually unacknowledged by the Jewish community. Virtually no programs or support for this large segment of Toronto’s Jewish enclave.

It reminded me when my parents came to Toronto and were largely avoided by the established Jews. So, Holocaust survivors who came here created their own synagogues, social groups and charities. Now, their children although assimilated into Canadian society, are also not supported. From discussions and interviews with descendants I knew there was a need.

I remembered the line by the character Ray Kinsella in the Field of Dreams, “if you build it, he will come”.

So, I decided to do something about it.

I began chatting with my friend Karen Lasky who volunteers with me at the Toronto Holocaust Museum about starting a support group for descendants. She was ready to help. She referred to herself a nuch schlepper (someone who tags along). Those early discussions were the genesis of Generations Forward.

My first need was to find an organization who would be willing to host the group on a monthly basis at no cost. I had no funding and it was important to make this a free service. That essentially eliminated synagogues because into today’s climate, synagogues now have high security costs. Any event at a synagogue essentially requites paying for security. I needed a venue that would not have to incur additional security costs.

I reached out to a number of organizations including the Bernard Betel Centre where I received an immediate positive response. Sharon Chodirker, who is responsible for Intergenerational programs, was onboard and would also help with promotions. At this point, I knew that this was going to happen.

From my past experiences, I knew better than to facilitate these group meetings on my own. I needed to find a clinician with the skills to manage this type of group. I posted a notice on a Facebook group about the proposed group and the need for a professional to assist to facilitate. An angel responded by the name of Aliza Neger. Aliza is a 3G (third generation descendant) of a survivor and social worker who is passionate about intergenerational trauma. I now had a team to deliver the program.

We sat down to hammer out a description of the program and ground rules for participants. It was important that the program be accessible to those who wanted to attend. We also wanted it to be clear that this was not group therapy but only a safe forum for people to express their experiences, fears, and anything else that was on their mind.

Our first session was in May and over 25 people attended. We had no idea what to expect. Neither did the participants. We spoke to the group trying to explain the rationale behind this initiative. I’m not sure we did a great job. Some people spoke up about things on their mind. It was all over the place. A portion of the room just listened which is normal from my experience. Four people walked out at one point. At the end of the evening we thanked people and asked for their feedback. I also requested written by email and six people responded.

The team gathered to review what people had to say. It was important that we incorporate the vision of the participants with ours. We made a number of changes. One of the more significant changes was to include a brief presentation on a topic related to trauma for people to reflect on. Aliza quickly produced a list of possible topics and we included them in our promotions.

The next session had a similar turnout although about half the participants were new. I viewed this as a positive sign. Some people gave this a second try while our outreach was finding new participants. The revised format and seating arrangements were an improvement. The feedback we received was more encouraging.

The next session is set for two weeks from now and the registration has grown substantially, again with returnees and new people. In addition, we are attracting a mix of 2Gs, 3Gs and a few 4Gs. The program will evolve as we learn and listen to the participants. Funding is an issue and identifying sponsors will become a priority.

If you are a descendant of Holocaust survivors in the Toronto and feel you might benefit from participate, feel free to register with the link below. The sessions take place the first Wednesday of the month at 7 pm. They will always be free.

If you know someone who might also be interested, please share this article with them.

What I’ve learned so far from this experience is that if you build it he (or she) will come.